Men's Brains Women's Brains

Let’s discuss men’s brains and women’s brains and how they are very, very different.  Men’s brains are made up of hundreds of little boxes.  We have a little box for everything.  We have a box for our job, one for the car, one for the wife, one for the kids, one for the bills, one for the house, literally one box for anything and everything.  Men also have one specific rule they live by as far as their brain is concerned and that is, the boxes DO NOT TOUCH.  Never, ever.  Whenever a man is required to discussion something he goes to that specific box, pulls it out, opens it and discusses ONLY what’s in that box.  Nothing else.  When the discussion is over, he closes that box and returns it being very, very careful not to touch any of the other boxes in the process.  That’s how men’s brains work.

Women’s brains, on the other hand, are quite different.  Women’s brains are made up of a big ball of wire in which everything is connected to everything else.  The home, the car, the kids, the neighbors, the laundry, their mother, their husband, everything.  All connected.  Just like the internet.  Women’s brains are powered by an energy known as emotion.  That’s the reason women remember EVERYTHING.  If you take an event and connect it with an emotion you’ll remember it forever and that’s exactly what women do.

Now the same thing happens with men that emotion thing, it’s just that it doesn’t happen very often because frankly, we don’t care. Women however, tend to care about EVERYTHING.  Men have a special box in their brains that most women are not aware of.  This box is empty and is called the nothing box.  Of all the boxes in a man’s brain, this is his favorite.  If given half a chance, men will go to this box every time.  It is the nothing box that enables men to do something that appears to a woman to be totally brain dead for hours on end like, well, like fishing.  The University of Pennsylvania actually did a study and determined that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing for hours and still breathe on their own.  Women can’t do this as their minds are always running, always processing and cross-referencing.  Women just don’t understand the nothing box and it drives them crazy because nothing is more irritating to a woman than to witness a man doing NOTHING.

Women have a knack for complicating everything.  Bless their hearts they don’t do it on purpose, it’s the way they’re wired.  Men keep things simple because, we have boxes.  You might say we’re simple minded.  Women say that all the time.  Because of their wiring, women tend to mature much faster than men.  At 18 a women could be considered an adult.  At 18 a man is still lighting farts and blowing milk out his nose.  This is probably the reason high school sweethearts never survive.  Men love Gilligan’s Island.  At some higher level men realize that if the Professor can build a nuclear reactor out of coconuts and drift wood, he could probably patch that little hole in the boat but, to a man, the show is still hilarious. See, men have a box for that sort of humor.  Women don’t.  The part of their wiring that cross-references reason prohibits them from enjoying base humor.

A man’s brain is geared toward simplicity.  Again, this is due to the use of boxes.  In a man’s bathroom you will usually only find six items; toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, soap, shaving cream and a towel they stole from the Ramada.  A women’s bathroom is much more complicated due to their wiring.  They’ll have an average of 300 items, many of which will be unrecognizable to any man.  Women tend to love cats.  Men do not usually have a cat box, sorry for the pun.  Men will say they love cats but when women are off doing something else, men will kick the cat.  We do have a box for that.  All men have a telephone box.  In it he keeps only what he needs to say.  Most calls made by men last less than 30 seconds.  A women will have a two hour lunch with a friend, return home and immediately call that friend and conduct a three hour conversation.  Evidently somewhere between lunch and arriving home they referenced more material that needed to be exchanged.

There’s nothing anyone can do about the difference.  It’s just a fact that has to be dealt with.  Men are from Mars and women are from Kansas or whatever that book was called.  Women got wires, men got boxes.  What’re ya’ gonna’ do!  One benefit women derive from their wiring is the ability to occasionally admit they were wrong.  They may not admit it to men but they’ll admit it to others of their persuasion.  Men don’t have that box.  The last male in possession of the ‘Sorry, I’m wrong’ box was Custer at Little Big Horn after he told his men, “Here they come boys.  Don’t take any prisoners!”